Growing Pains for Leonardo
by EnsoDancer
Summary: Leo feels he's ready to move up from bokken to real katana blades, Splinter does not. Will the perfect son respect his father's wishes or will the desire to grow up lead to questionable decisions? A look at how an experience as a 13 year old helped develop Leo's sense of honor and duty as oldest son. Rated for mild language. COMPLETE.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: While there are a few 2012 references, for the most part this is the 2k3 universe because that's what I grew up with. You, however, can read it either way. Let me apologize in advance for any errors. Thanks for reading! Comments good or bad are greatly appreciated.**

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**Growing Pains for Leonardo**

"Umph," Raph fell to the mat hard but was just quick enough to catch the bokken with the prong of his rubber sai as Leo slashed down at him from above.

With a smug grin and a twist of the wrist Raph weakened Leo's grip on the wooden sword and sent him off his balance. And though Leo didn't lose his footing completely Raph seized the moment to hitch kick to his feet.

"Thought you had me didn't ya, well maybe you ain't as good as you think ya are," Raph gloated having finally made some headway against his older brother.

If he was startled by his brother's quick maneuver or his taunting words, Leo gave nothing away in his face, completely intent on his purpose. He needed this to prove to their father that he was truly ready, and wiping that smug grin off Raph's face would be just pure bonus.

Without ceremony, Leo ducked and swept out his right leg taking Raph to the mat once again, but this time using the side of his blade to deflect Raph's defense. Bending down to press his knee into Ralph's plastron, Leo used his better leverage to bend Raph's wrists back. After a few moments of fruitless struggle and with a frustrated grumble Raph had no choice but to let his sai fall from his hands. Continuing to press forward and bringing the bokken to Ralph's neck Leo smiled and said flatly, "You think so?" To which Raph only glared, angry at being bested by Leo, again.

"Yame!"

At the call from Master Splinter, Leo immediately released his brother and stood offering his hand to Raph who ignored it and also stood. Facing each other they bowed respectfully, though Raph's ire still danced on the surface, the now engrained custom was required at the end of all sparring matches by their very strict Japanese father and ninja master.

"Well done Leonardo, you continue to show excellence in your weapons training," Splinter praised calmly.

Putting their practice weapons away and then joining their younger brothers, Leo and Raph kneeled in their usual line formation with Don and Mikey before their father.

"Thank you sensei" Leo responded. He bowed from his kneeling position and could not help it as the corners of his mouth turned upward slightly. To which Raph, rolled his eyes and Mikey giggled, earning them both pointed glances from their father that stilled them instantly.

Turning back to look at all of his sons, Splinter began to open his mouth but was uncharacteristically interrupted by Leo. Sensing their father was bringing the morning's practice session to an end without making any important announcements, Leo impulsively added, "I feel completely at one with the sword, I know it is my true weapon and I can continue to honor you by training with the **_true _**katana blade." A little shocked at the boldness of his own words, Leo finished by lowering his eyes in a show of at least some humility.

For their part his brothers were equally as shocked that their normally perfect older brother had not only interrupted Splinter but had blurted out such a bold and borderline disrespectful comment. Like the heads of spectators at a tennis match Raph, Donnie and Mikey's heads snapped first to look at their brother and then to their sensei.

As their father stared at his oldest son unspeaking, Don began to fidget never liking to see any of his siblings in trouble as he certainly believed Leo now was and Mikey's blue eyes had simply grown wide and blank as he struggled to comprehend what was happening. Readable as a book, Raph's face flitted between a jealous scowl at the thought that Leo might actually be moved ahead of him in their ninjitsu training with this audacious move and an evil grin as the continued silence of their Master indicated that his older brother would more likely be sternly lectured on how it was not the student's place to ask or even hint for such a thing.

As everyone waited expectantly for his reaction, Splinter kept his face inscrutable, though he sighed inwardly. He knew that his Leonardo longed to be training with the real blades and in truth could not be prouder of his son's discipline and commitment to training at the tender age of 13. More so than his brothers, Leo was relentlessly eager to become the warrior… the leader Splinter knew he would one day be. But the father in him felt cautious and protective. Was he ready? Did his son really grasp what this next step truly signified? The thought shook him to his core. Contemplating teaching his son to weld real blades was a vicious reminder that real blades would eventually be used against him, that the day when Leo would be forced to take a life to save his own or his brothers' lives was fast approaching. Splinter didn't relish seeing what little childhood he had been able to give his sons lost quite yet. But hadn't that been the whole reason he had begun training his tiny adopted turtle sons so many years ago? So they _could_ defend themselves. Was it his son who wasn't ready? Or was it he himself?

Finally breaking the silence, Splinter towered over his son and spoke with no emotion, "Honor, Leonardo, is best shown by a student who is patient and obedient and trusts his sensei knows what is best, wouldn't you agree?"

The words stung. Even while mentally noting that he was too old to throw a temper tantrum, Leo could feel hot anger begin to rise inside him. He didn't understand why this was so important to him or why his father had continued to put him off as he had been working very hard in practice to earn this privilege for several weeks. Opening his mouth to protest, one look at his father made him think better of it. His Japanese style upbringing had instilled a deep sense of honor for his elders and despite his mounting frustration he didn't want to be a poor example for his younger brothers. That responsibility, to be a good ani, was equally important to him.

After another moment, Leo quietly acquiesced, "Yes, Master."

Nodding, Splinter looked at them all and said firmly, "I will be mediating for the next few hours, do not leave the lair. Fix lunch for yourselves and I expect you to do some cleaning in your bedrooms before supper, you are dismissed. " Then turning without a sound he left the dojo. His sons sat transfixed as they listened for the shoji door to their father's bedroom to slide closed.

No sooner than the sound registered did Mikey jump up and launch himself at Leo, "Whoa, Leo, I thought you were toast for sure, I mean, to just come right out and say it….that was so…so….I don't know… awesome!" he said all while trying to pull his brother into roughhousing play.

"Mikey, it wasn't awesome" Leo said with just a touch of awkwardness, " I probably shouldn't have said that, at least not while you were all in the room. " Leo gently pushed his youngest brother off him and stood up. While he didn't exactly feel like what he had said was wrong, he also wasn't really comfortable with his baby brother's admiration for being so brazen toward their father.

"Ha, you think that was awesome? What's so awesome about being backed down like a little kid for being a smart ass?" Raph accused rocking back on his heels to stand up.

Leo glared at Raph who grinned and walked past him toward the dojo door. Leo knew Raph was purposely guiling him not only with the insult but with the foul language he would never have used in front of Splinter. But not really feeling in a position to defend himself, he said nothing.

Seeing that his oldest brother wasn't in the mood to play, Mikey chased after Raph asking if he wanted to play his latest video game.

Leo then looked to see his purple banded brother slowly coming to standing.

"I'm going to make a turkey sandwich, you want one?" Don asked

"Uh, yeah, ok", Leo answered.

Leo turned to follow Donnie out of the dojo, but not before stealing a glance at the weapons wall. On which hung the impressive collection of weapons Hamato Yoshi had collected before his mutation. Nunchacku, bo staffs, sai, kusarigama, naginata were all proudly displayed, but for Leo's eyes it was the gleaming twin katana that set his heart racing and his mind working.

TBC...

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**Ok, confession, this is my first story, what did you think so far?**


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thanks for all those who reveiwed the first chapter. Very thrilling. Enjoy this new installment and as always comments good or bad are greatly appreicated.

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"Mustard or mayonnaise?" Don asked.

"Hmm, what?" Leo had been staring unseeingly from the kitchen back to the dojo door and hadn't heard the question.

"I asked if you want mustard or mayonnaise on your sandwich", Don repeated gently, with a knowing look.

"Oh, sorry…mustard's fine." Leo said, forcing himself to offer a weak smile to his kindhearted brother.

With that Don took the yellow mustard bottle from the refrigerator he had recently salvaged and repaired for the family. It was the first big thing he had ever fixed and he couldn't help smiling with pride at having been able to use his intellect to offer something to his family.

Lifting the bread from their sandwiches Don squeezed a thin mustard circle on each one and then returned the bottle to the fridge. Bringing the plates to the table he slid one in front of his brother and took a seat perpendicular to Leo.

"Thanks, bro", Leo offered.

The two sat and ate in silence for a minute. From the great room they could hear Mikey cheering for himself as he played his videogames and the rhythmic thud of Raph hitting his punching bag.

"You want to talk about it?" Don spoke without lifting his eyes.

Leo smiled, he loved how diplomatic his genius brother was. Offering himself as a non-judgmental sounding board but not pushing the issue if Leo didn't want to talk.

"Oh well, it's nothing really….it's just…. I just don't understand, Father's being unreasonable!" he blurted out, surprised and not having wanted to show his frayed emotions quite so openly.

"Leo, you know he's only being protective", Don responded evenly.

"I know, I know, I know it's not really honorable to ask for this before he's ready to give it, but Don, when I look at those magnificent blades hanging on the dojo wall, it's like they call to me. I mean, it's like I'm supposed to have them to help protect this family. Why can't he see that I need to start training with them **now**? What if there was some sort of danger and Splinter was away?" Leo finished strongly.

"Do you really think we're in danger down here in the lair?" Don asked with a touch of anxiety

"Well…no, probably not," Leo sighed weakly not really wanting to scare his little brother "but I am going to be this team's leader and I need to be ready for anything, sooner rather than later."

Don eyed his brother who had turned his head to stare again at the dojo door. Donnie liked to think of their team someday on the surface working together and doing good. And knowing that as the oldest son Leo would be leader didn't bother him a bit. It had always been like that, even when they were little. Leo worked to be a perfect son and his brothers, even Raph, all looked up to him and tried to follow his example. That's why Leo's current unrest was so disturbing. Don had never known Leo to openly question their father, not that questioning Father was something any of them did all too often. But if Don didn't know better he'd say Leo was feeling defiant over this whole sword thing. He sighed aloud not truly understanding his brother's interest in the weapons. Swords weren't Donnie's cup of tea, as he could never see himself slicing into someone. And though he liked to fantasize about being a do-gooder in the city above, the thought of actually having to fight still scared him a little. He was secretly glad their protective father probably wouldn't let them up there in that capacity for a few more years.

Thinking it best to try to help soothe any rebellious thoughts his brother may be having he spoke gently, "Leo, you work harder than any of us in dojo and Splinter is complimenting you on how well you're doing. I'm sure he'll move you up soon enough, and in the meantime there's nothing you can really do except respect Father's wishes. He is our father and our Master after all, not to mention I hate to think of the serious trouble you'd be in if you even touched one of those things without his permission. " Don finished and stared at his brother hopefully.

After just one more moment, Leo tore his eyes from his desire and forced himself to look at his little brother. "Yeah, you're right Donnie, I guess I'll just have to think of it as an exercise in patience," he replied cheerfully.

Donnie shot Leo a wide smile and took another bite from his sandwich, happy to be reassured by big brother that things hadn't changed and Leo wasn't about to do something foolish.

Leo also began to finish his lunch. He knew Donnie had been trying to subtly remind him of the consequences of disobeying their strict father. As well as that his little brother had also been a bit shaken by Leo's earlier display in the dojo and was unconsciously seeking as much comfort as he was trying to give. Hating to see his brother distressed, Leo had obliged him, even though inwardly he had come to a decision. A decision he couldn't and wouldn't be sharing with any of his brothers.

….

Two days passed and life continued as normal. Practice sessions came and went without incidence. Splinter noted that his oldest seem resolved to the Master's authority to which he released an inward sigh of relief. Leo continued to work hard to master his sensei's instructions, Raph tried to best his older brother at anything and everything, Donnie follow Leo's example and Mikey tried to avoid being admonished for lack of focus.

It was Tuesday evening and the family had just finished supper and were scattered about their great room when Splinter, dressed in his human disguise, stepped from his bedroom and announced, "I'm going out, we need supplies for next week. Leo you are in charge, watch your brothers and," he paused eyeing each of his sons, then continued in Japanese to emphasis the point "don't leave the lair." Turning then, in a blink he was gone.

Leo counted in his head 3….2….1.

"So, dudes, what the plan, wanna play tag?" Mikey piped up.

His suggestion was met with silence as his three brothers merely glanced at him and then returned to their own activities.

"Come ooooooonn, I'm already bored. We always do something fun on Tuesday nights", he whined.

"Just because Splinter's out doesn't mean we have to tear up the lair", Leo added from the chair where he was reading.

Looking down again at the page he had already read three times, Leo tried to still the adrenaline that started to flow through his body the moment Father announced he was going out. These Tuesday night outings weren't any surprise, Splinter liked that less people were on the streets and Leo had been waiting patiently for just this moment for the past two days. Playing his usual part would be key if he was going to get through his plan without raising his brother's suspicions.

"Aw, that's what you always say," Mikey stuck out his tongue at his oldest brother's unseeing forehead.

"We could play truth or dare?" Raph joined the conversation.

"No," Leo relied making sure to but a harsh edge to the word.

"Hey, why not"

"Because every time we play your dares get us in trouble," Leo said dismissively, a tone he knew his brother hated.

"Ha, you're just scared." Raph taunted, raising to the bait "You're so worried Father ain't never gonna let you have them swords you're too scared to poop in your own diaper, ha ha!"

Raph and Mikey burst with laughter, Raph eying Leo with a dare.

More than adrenaline, Leo could feel his temper flare now. Just as Leo knew Raph's buttons, Raph knew exactly where to push Leo, but getting into it with Raph wasn't really part of the plan. He took a slow breath and stared at Raph. _"Come on Donnie, come on," _he thought impatiently, not sure if he was still just pretending to get into a fight.

But then, as if on cue his peace-loving brother joined, "There's a horror movie marathon on TV tonight, let's watch that."

"Yeah, that's a great idea Donnie!" Mikey cheered, seizing the idea and running with it both literally and figuratively. "I'm gonna go pop the popcorn," he shouted jumping over the back of the couch.

Still eyeballing Leo, Raph smirked then slowly turned and followed Mikey, "Hey, don't mess it up this time, I want it just a little burnt, not fully barbequed." Their voices trailed as the two disappeared into the kitchen.

Leo smiled at his other brother who was putting away the puzzle he had been working on. Leo could have scripted the evening's exchange. Mikey bored, Raph egging Leo-not really happy to be under his brother's authority and then Donnie quickly defusing an impending argument between his brothers. Everything was going exactly as planned, now he just had to wait for his brothers to be engaged in the movie and then…

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Enjoy! Thanks for reading. Leave some feedback.

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"Don't go in there! Why is she going in there?" Mikey squealed as he hooked his elbows in Raph's and Donnie's arms who were sitting on either side of him on the couch.

The lair was dark, as it was part of the brother code that you had to turn off all the lights when watching a scary movie, and no one argued lest he be called a chicken.

Leo turned to his brothers from the chair and commented nonchalantly, "Guys, I've seen this before, I think I'll go practice for a while."

Though completely ignored by Mikey who couldn't spare a glance from the glowing screen, Raph rolled his eyes and Don gave him a quick "ok".

It wasn't uncommon for him to put in extra practice time and so he didn't think his brothers would give it a second thought. Fighting the urge to run, Leo walked to the dojo. Stepping inside, he opted to light a few candles rather than flip the switch for the harsh electric light. A little giddy, he felt candlelight ambience more suited to this important moment in his young life.

Walking slowly but purposely to stand in front of the weapons wall, he could feel his skin begin to tingle. His heart was racing as it pounded on his eardrums. He was beginning to sweat and he huffed impudently, trying not to admit to himself just how ungrown-up he was now feeling. Leo squeezed his eyes shut, as much to listen for his brothers who he could hear in the great room, as to bring his breathing under control. Satisfied his brothers weren't going anywhere, he snapped his eyes open. Taking one more unconscious glance to the side he reached up with something less than grace and quickly snatched one of the katana from its place of honor on the wall.

Eyes wide, he looked down at the katana in his unsteady hand. The handle was more solid than he had imagined and was covered in gold inlay, intricate swirls and loops creating its design. It's steel blade glinted and shown even in the dim candlelight and looking at it gave Leo back his own reflection. He stared into his own amber irises, not sure how to decipher the mix of emotion he saw there. But he had already crossed the line and, he rationalized, this wasn't about him. He was really just doing this for his family, to be a better fighter for them. Not truly believing the lie it was enough to spring him into action, as he didn't want to waste the precious little time he had.

Bringing the sword to the middle of the room, Leo began to go through the same katas he had been taught for bokken. Noticing immediately how much more careful he had to be of the blade but also smiling as he felt he was adapting quite well. Continuing to go through the movements for several more minutes, he could almost imagine his father correcting his form and making small adjustments as he had when he was first given a bokken to train with. He had been so elated on that day and hadn't missed the pride that had shown in Father's eyes. He wished it was that way now, instead of having to sneak around. But quickly shaking the thought from his mind he slashed at an invisible foe. He reasoned his father would see his readiness soon enough and when he did he would amaze his father and his brothers with his skills. With that, he threw himself into another epic imaginary battle defending his family. Sweeping his sword up to defend against an invisible enemy coming to attack from behind, he accidently grazed the razor sharp blade across the back of his left hand.

"Owww!" he yelped instinctually before remembering to extinguish the sound.

Shocked at the stinking pain he dropped the katana and came to his knees on the mat, his now free hand flying to grip the injury tight.

He kneeled there for a few moments stunned and frozen. Straining his ears, he listened, his brow deeply furrowed. The sounds of the TV drifted to him and the faint sound of his brothers' snoring as well. _"They fell asleep,"_ he realized.

He released the shuttering breath he didn't realize he'd been holding. Lowering his gaze he brought his hand out from where he had been hunched over cradling it to his gut. Seeing it now he sighed, it was a small cut, barely bleeding and only an inch or so. It was the shock more than the pain that had really caused him to be so shaken. Even so, Leo was not relieved in the least, he immediately knew there was no way to hide even this small injury from Father's inquisitive and masterful eyes. How could he explain this? Father mysteriously knew, just by looking at them, if they had brushed their teeth or if they had eaten. There was just no way he could hide this during tomorrow morning's practice session. Suddenly feeling very heavy and a bit nauseated, Leo mentally lamented, _"I'm going to be in soooo much trouble."_ Feeling unshed tears begin to sting behind his eyeballs, Leo gathered all of his thirteen year old fortitude and tried to get control of himself. Blinking his eyes, he was determined not to be a baby. And maybe all wasn't lost just yet.

TBC (I'm only getting started)


	4. Chapter 4

Thanks a bunch for all those who've left a review. It truly makes my day. Enjoy and leave some feedback!

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Ever the tactician, Leo's mind raced around all the possible lies he could spin to save his tail. A lie…he would have to tell a lie. While sneaking into the dojo had been rationalized deception, now he would need to tell an outright lie, and while that realization left his mouth powder dry, there just didn't seem to be any other choice. The decision made, he wasted no time.

Reaching to pick up the fallen katana, Leo nearly leapt to the weapons wall to slide the weapon silently back on the brackets that held it on the wall. Running to each candle he extinguished each flame and flapped his arms wildly to disperse any residual smoke. Praying it was enough, he backed out of the now dark dojo and walked with as much calmness as he could manage into the great room. Glancing at the couch he noted his brothers. Donnie lay with his head propped to the side, while Mikey who was nearly upside down had his head hanging off the front of the couch and his legs pushing into Raph's ribcage.

Taking a breath he spoke, "Hey you all ought to go to bed, you'll be sore if you sleep like that."

"Huh? What? Oh, I wasn't sleepin'," Raph mumbled as his eyes dazedly slid open "hey, get offa me."

Raph unceremoniously pushed his brother's legs and Mikey slid to the floor. "Hmmm, what'd ya do that for?" Mikey whimpered, still sleepy.

Knowing from experience not to get involved with his brothers when they weren't fully awake, Donnie silently lifted his head and adjusted himself to sit cross legged in the corner of the couch.

"I'm gonna get a snack and then we're all going to bed, it's almost ten and you know Father doesn't like it when we stay up late," Leo told to them, trying hard to keep his voice normal.

Leaving his brothers to fully wake up Leo moved into the kitchen with fabricated calmness. Snatching the refrigerator door open his eyes darted quickly around for something to fit his needs.

_ "Lettuce? No. Tomato? No. Pear? Yes, yes a pear could work_," he thought.

Grabbing the ripe fruit he closed the fridge door and placed it on the counter. Sliding a drawer open he palmed one of the knives. At thirteen, he and his brothers had been allowed to use the kitchen utensils unsupervised for over two years. Though it wasn't a privilege their father had given easily. Leo absolutely hated to give him false evidence of carelessness now. If his father thought he couldn't handle a kitchen knife there was no hope for the katanas, sighing inwardly there was nothing that could be done about it now he thought. Placing the pear on the counter he sliced half-way through it, careful not to cut himself for real…again. He then removed the knife and held it above the counter top. Turning his head toward the great room so his voice would carry he dropped the knife to the counter and yelled, "Ouch!".

"What!? What happened," Mikey called to him.

"Oh, nothing I just cut myself a little, it's nothing major"

For dramatic effect, he sucked his breath through his teeth as if the cut was fresh and stinging. Rounding the corner holding his hand, Leo almost ran into Donnie who had come to investigate.

"Let me see," Don asked reaching for Leo's hand.

"Yeah, I wanna see too, is it a gusher? "Mikey, now excited and fully awake, bounced to join Leo and Donnie.

"What is going on?" a bold voice questioned.

Startled, the three brothers turned and looked up to see the concerned expression on their father's muzzle. A ninjitsu master, he had entered their home completely unnoticed.

"Leo, cut himself," Raph volunteered from his seat on the couch.

_"Thanks for nothing, Raph,"_ Leo thought sarcastically but instead said aloud "It's nothing Father, really, the knife just slipped when I was slicing a pear, I'm sorry"

Splinter put out his paw and Leo put his hand in it. Turning his son's hand over Splinter noted that indeed it was a minor cut. Eyeing his son purposely, Leo returned the gaze, stood completely still and tried to empty his mind. He knew his father had powerful senses and would detect even the slightest flinch.

Glancing over his sons' heads to peer at the pear and knife on the kitchen counter, Splinter again eyed his oldest son for several seconds and then spoke, "It is alright my son, but please try to be more careful next time Leonardo."

"Yes, Father", Leo replied in little more than a whisper.

"Ok, Leonardo, go get the first aid kit from the bathroom and bring it here. The three of you come help me put the supplies away and then you're all going to bed."

"Yes, Father" the four chorused.

Later, laying in his bed, Leo found he couldn't quite sleep. Fingering the pristine white bandage his father had expertly applied to his hand he wasn't sure how to feel.

He had gotten away with the deception, at least he was pretty sure Splinter didn't suspect anything, but in the process of _getting away with it_ he'd given his father even less reason to trust him to use the katana blade. Shifting under his thin blanket he punched his pillow into submission trying to find a comfortable spot. Settling unsatisfied, he tried to weigh the events of the evening. He had lied to his father's face for the first time in his life but, he thought, it had been just a tiny lie and he wasn't really hurt. Conveniently forgetting how sick he had felt when he thought he was caught Leo resolved to try again. He would just have to be more careful next time. And besides, he reasoned, if he did manage to master the katana on his own, it would make all of his other deceptions understandable and even justified. No, he couldn't just quit now. Closing his eyes he let out a deep breath, feeling resolved about his next step. Unfortunately, sleep was still somewhat elusive and it was a long night.

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Thanks for reading. Leave some feedback!

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It had been two full weeks since his first 'independent study' as he liked to think of it. On both of his father's last Tuesday night outings he had been able to elude his brothers long enough to put in a little practice time in the dojo with not only one but both of the katana blades. And unlike the first time, these successive attempts had gone off without even one misstep.

Manipulating his brothers and deceiving his father had somehow gotten both easier and harder with each new lie. Like climbing a steep cliff, solid ground seemed further and further away, finding any new lie or foothold that allowed him to keep from falling became the priority. Clinging desperately to the notion that this was only temporary and that he was actually training himself so he could one day be a better fighter for his family was enough to put him at ease any time that pesky guilt or dishonor started to rise.

Holding the katana up to make a diagonal slash through the air, Leo felt good. His brothers were finishing the jigsaw puzzle Donnie had gotten for his last birthday and he was sure he had at least another ten minutes before he'd have to quit and make a reappearance in the great room.

Sweeping through another kata he let his eyelids slide closed and tried to sense the movements rather than execute them consciously. Like a dance, he was just beginning to lose himself in the cadence of his own steps when…

"Ha! I knew it," a voice stabbed through his revive as the dojo lights flicked on.

Seizing in mid stroke, adrenalin instantly surging from his toes to his throat, Leo whipped around to see Raph leaning against the frame of the dojo doors with a smirk splitting his features.

Stunned, Leo stammered unable to form words, "Raph, I….I…."

"What? Do you have something to say Leonardo?" Raph said in mock surprise, using Leo's full name in a meaningful imitation of their father.

Taking a deep breath and gathering up any big brother influence he thought he might have left, Leo lowered the katana he had been holding in the air and tried to speak confidently, "Look Raph, you don't understand, I…"

"Shut it Leo, before you try to feed me any of that _I'm really doing this for the family _bullyou'r_e_ probably telling yourself. I don't wanna hear it, I know 'zackly what you're doing and I ain't gonna tell on ya. So you can stop looking like you peed your pants and need to be changed" Raph finished crossing his arms and staring at his brother.

If being caught had been a shocker, Raph's words now were like seeing Splinter in clown pants and a red nose, impossible to imagine and making no sense. At a total loss and having dropped all pretense Leo asked softly, "Why? I thought…I thought you'd be glad to get me in trouble"

"Well for starters, I ain't no snitch and secondly… I… well…I think it's kind of… cool," his voice trailing off at the end as he shifted avoiding looking Leo in the eye.

"Really?"

"Well yeah Leo, I'm just mad I ain't done it myself yet. I'm gonna start calling you Fearless going against Splinter like this. Takin' charge of your own life, I mean who needs all the rules anyway? It's actually kinda badass and it means…well, you ain't actually perfect" Stepping closer he continued, "Hey, you think maybe we could switch off sometime, you could keep Mikey and Donnie occupied and I could practice and then…"

"No!" Leo snapped more harshly then he meant to. "I mean," he sighed speaking more softly "Raph you really shouldn't get involved in this, I've had to lie to do this." Looking down for a moment and then looking up again, he continued, "I lied right to Father and if he finds out not only will I be in serious trouble but Father won't trust me anymore and he'll think I don't respect…,"he fell silent Raph's presence forcing him to absorb the thought fully for the first time.

Looking at his brother confused, Raph saw Leo's eyes suddenly focus like lasers looking not at him but just past him. Turning Raph saw his little brother coming to stand behind him.

For several moments, Leo couldn't speak as he was locked immobile starring into Donnie's glistening and knowing eyes. Finally he dropped the gaze unable to face his own shame reflected in the saucer wide orbs.

"Mikey fell asleep on the couch. I'm going to bed. Father will probably be home soon," Donnie spoke in a clipped tone before turning and leaving the dojo headed toward his bedroom.

Misinterpreting the distress on Leo's face Raph offered, "You know Donnie wouldn't ever snitch on ya either, right?"

"Yeah," he sighed "I know."

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Not sure anyone is still interested in this little fic but I guess I'll keep plugging along for now. Also thanks to Shinnscape who beta read some of the early chapters. I appreciate your time. And thanks to the reviewers I've had so far, your encouragement is invaluable.

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Noting the empty spot between Leonardo and Donatello as they knelt in line. Splinter frowned slightly. Would this morning's practice start with more disrespect from his most strong-willed son? After last night, Splinter pondered the sudden change, Raphael had always been spirited but never willfully disobedient.

Even without his second oldest's absence this morning, his father's intuition as much as his mastery of ninjitsu, was telling him something was definitely amiss among his precious adopted sons. He had sensed it as soon as he had come in last night. Easily able to enter without making his presence known he had seen the worry etched on Leonardo's face as he slowly paced behind the couch only half watching the television. Splinter also hadn't missed his eldest's frequent glances down at Michelangelo's sleeping form draped haphazardly across the couch and at Raphael who sat comfortably on the other end. Peaking his senses even more, he noted that Donatello was out of sight completely, having gone to bed uncharacteristically early.

Not sure yet what to make of the scene Splinter stepped forward out of the shadows and announced in his normal fashion, "I'm home, did everything go alright?"

Turning to see his father at the door, Leo lied calmly "Yes, no problems at all, Don was really tired so he turned in early." Then reaching over the couch Leo gently shook his youngest brother awake whispering, "Father's home, wake up Mikey."

Choosing not to acknowledge the obvious untruth, Splinter said, "Well I hope your brother is not getting ill, I'll check on him in a minute, you three come help me put the supplies away"

"Ok" came responses from two of his children.

As Leonardo and Michelangelo come to take the bags in the kitchen, Raphael sat immobile staring at the television.

"Raphael," Splinter called.

Silence.

"Raphael….. Hamato Raphael!"

Nothing.

"Do you hear me speaking to you? Come help your brothers" dropping his voice several octaves to almost a low whisper Splinter added, "**now**."

At hearing what they all knew from childhood to be Father's _final warning_ tone, both Leo and Mikey stopped what they were doing and came to watch shocked as Raph slowly picked up the remote, clicked off the TV, and without offering any kind of excuse strolled past their father into the kitchen and began to help.

Breathing deeply to still his nerves, Splinter resolved not to rebuke his son's disrespect, at least not yet. Something clearly wasn't right with either of his oldest and he didn't want to act without having a clear picture. The truth would come to light though and whatever was going on with his sons would be resolved. Whether on its own or with his intervention, he would make sure of that. For now though, he would give the situation some time. He had raised his sons to follow the true Bushido path and he reminded himself that he must give them the space to do just that even if it meant they might stumble a bit in the process. For hadn't he himself wondered from the path in his youth and eventually found his way back to it, a bit battered but certainly more mature?

Breaking himself from the previous evening's memory, Splinter brought his mind back to the present, to the dojo and to the empty spot where his second son should be. Of the three sons that were present he asked, "Where is Raphael?"

As if on cue, Raph appeared in the dojo at that moment walking purposefully and without contrition to take his place in line with his brothers. He was a full five minutes late for practice and should have come in with an apology dripping from his lips but instead he merely looked straight ahead as if nothing was wrong.

While Mikey looked utterly confused, Leo glared at his brother with a sideways glance and Donnie continued to pretend not to notice anything his brothers did.

"You are late Raphael," Splinter said flatly, unrelenting in his stare as he towered over his son.

Tilting his head up to meet his father's gaze Raphael's earlier confidence seemed to wilt somewhat.

"Uh…sorry sensei" he offered lamely.

Noting Raph's apology, Splinter simply nodded and proceeded to begin the practice session.

…

Later that day, after what had been a particularly difficult practice, the boys found themselves sloshing in the sewer tunnels just outside the lair each packing their skateboards under their arms.

Sensing his sons might need a little space and time together to resolve whatever issue had set the balance of their little family askew Splinter had given his permission when Leonardo had asked for some 'outside' playtime. However, not before garnering a promise from each of them that they would stay within the boundaries he had set long ago.

The moment they were out of earshot from the lair, Mikey piped, "Ok, dudes. What. Is. Up?" as he bounced excitedly around his older brothers like a gnat in summer.

Undeterred by receiving no immediate response he continued, "Come on, tell me, tell me, tell me."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Leo offered.

"No way I'm buying that, why'd you wanna get outta the lair so bad? And why's Raphie being more snarky then usual? And Donnie's obviously givin' ya the cold shoulder. So spill it. Come on, tell me. Puleeeeze!"

"Mikey, I just thought it'd be fun to get out…." only partially true, Leo had also hoped that a little fun might soften Don who hadn't spoken to him all day and might even give Leo a chance to reign in Raph without getting into a fight.

"Nope. Un-uh, you're keepin' secrets and that's against the brother code. You all think I'm just your stupid little brother who doesn't see what's going on….but I see" He pouted, "Well fine, you don't wanna tell me, then who needs ya," Mikey finished defiantly, hurt his brothers wouldn't share.

Leo let out an exasperated breath as the four stepped into the junction that connected their tunnel with several others and marked one of Splinters' boundaries. They usually used the large open space to skate but with now two little brothers mad at him, Leo was finding it difficult to stay cheerful.

"Hey bro, don't worry about it" Raph spoke up as he slung his arm around Mikey's neck. "Bet I can cheer you up."

"Yeah, how?" Mikey pouted, crossing his arms.

"How would you like to see what's behind door number three" in his best game-show host impression Raph grinned mischievously and angled Mikey's shoulders toward the tunnel to the left numbered with a well rusted tin plate etched with the Roman numeral three.

At Raph's words, both Leo and Don looked at their other two brothers.

"Raph, that's not a good idea, you know we aren't allowed to go any further." Leo scolded.

"That's funny Leo, I didn't think _you'd_ be all worked up about what's _allowed _and ain'tallowed" Raph smirked his comment laced with sarcasm.

Turning to look at Donnie, Leo would normally have expected him to offer some logical rebuttal to one of Raph's crazy ideas but Don merely stared tightlipped.

Frustration mounting, Leo spoke more harshly "Look Raph, you can't keep pushing the limits with Father like this, that stunt last night and then being late to practice this morning and now this, you're just acting like a spoiled brat."

Meeting the challenge, Raph came closer to eyeball Leo, "Yeah, well, I figure you aint got nothin' to say about it, cause it takes on to know one!" he paused daring Leo to be a hypocrite, "Come on Mike you in or what?"

Happy at being included and still a little angry with Leo, Mikey answered, "Yeah, I'm in."

Leo felt helpless as he watched Mikey and Raph prop their boards on the wall and disappear into one of the forbidden tunnels. What could he possibly say to stop them? It wasn't as if he had any moral high ground to stand on. Raph had always seemed to resent Leo's self-control, but was still usually more bark than bite. It had never occurred to Leo that it was his own example that helped keep his red-banded brother from being so reckless and rebellious. Leo had spent almost his entire life preparing for the day when he would lead his brothers, but as he watched Raph and Mikey's retreating forms, he realized his younger brothers were already following his lead if not in word, certainly in deed. Feeling Donnie's eyes on him he also realized he was currently failing as a leader and as a big brother.

"Donnie, I'm sorry, this is…"

CRACK! BOOM! SPLASH!

Donnie and Leo jumped and then turned to eye the direction the sound had come from. Horror at realizing the thunderous wet crash had resonated from where their brother's had just entered their pulses began to race. Dropping their skateboards, without hesitation they bolted into the tunnel calling, "Raph! Mikey! What happened? Where are you? Say something," both their voices near panic.

TBC...

Ok, thoughts? Feedback is very much appreciated. Good or Bad, it really helps me keep going. Thanks for reading!


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Hope you enjoy. Reviews are greatly appreciated. Thanks all.

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Moving further into the dark tunnel they began to hear whimpering. It was Mikey. And then Raph's voice, "Here! We're here behind all this stuff."

Squinting, water dripping from above blurred their vision as the two gingerly crawled over and under the obstacle course-like pipes that crisscrossed the tunnel's width. Finally able to stand again, Leo and Don were greeted by a mountain of debris blocking the tunnel. "Are you ok? Is Mikey ok? Are you hurt?" Leo yelled trying to keep his voice calm as his father had always told him was important in a crisis.

"We're fine. Mikey's just a little shook up. I've got him, but the tunnel just collapsed before we could get back out. I don't know how we're gonna to get out of here", Raph called.

Despite the evenness of his voice, Leo knew his brothers well and hadn't missed the touch of fear in Raph's comment, it mirrored his own.

"Leo, Leo," Mikey's voice hitched and whined. "I wanna go home."

"I know buddy, everything's going to be fine." Leo responded, trying to reassure himself as much as Michelangelo.

Whispering now so that only Donnie could hear him, "This stuff's too heavy it'll take forever to move it and there's no telling how soon workers will be here to check out what's happened, I could run for Father but I'm not sure we have enough time this doesn't look stable."

"Hey, I've got an idea," Don's face brightened in the way it always did when he'd had a revelation.

"You see this, it looks like one solid chuck, we could pile up these bricks to make a fulcrum and then use one of the bent pipes as a lever to move this piece out of the way. It would leave a hole that might be big enough for Mike and Raph to crawl through"

"But, what's to keep the rest of this junk from falling in the hole and on one of them?"

"Well, you see how this above kinda looks like an arch, the pieces are pushing together and I think it will support itself. I read about it in one of Father's renaissance books, the Italians mimicked a lot of Roman architecture that had arches that didn't need supports. I think it'll work but it's your call."

Regarding the genius, Leo didn't fully understand what his brother was talking about and though he didn't know anything about Roman arches he did know he trusted Donnie's instincts. "Ok, let's do it."

Between the two of them Leo and Donnie eventually managed to break off one of the smaller pipes that had already been badly bent. After piling up several bricks and wedging the pipe under the chuck of wreckage they hoped to move, Leo yelled through the mountain.

"Raph!"

"Yeah"

"We're going to try to move some of this, listen, do you hear where I'm tapping?"

Leo tapped his fist at the place he hoped would soon make way for his brothers.

"Yeah, I hear it"

"Ok, that's where we're going to make a hole, you and Mikey be ready to crawl through as soon as it's free, we don't know how long it will hold"

"Ok, got it"

Signaling to Don they both grasped the pipe and he counted, "Ok, on three. 1, 2, 3!"

"Hmgph," the two put all their weight into the pipe.

His muscles shaking at the effort, Leo pleaded through gritted teeth, "Come. On. Come on. Please Moovve. Pleeeease. Hhmmph"

Finally with a crackling sound the offensive mass was dislodged and Don and Leo were flung from their feet as the pipe gave way.

Wasting no time Leo crawled to peer through the hole. Seeing Mikey's tear-stained face just beyond reach he stretched his hand out, "Come on buddy."

Taking the hand Mikey half crawled and was half pulled through the hole. Having cleared the youngest into Donnie's waiting arms Leo immediately turned back.

"Come on Raph, now you."

"It's not big enough, I…I don't think I can make it"

"Raph," he said evenly "give me your hand bro, I've got you, just trust me."

Swallowing, Raph said, "Okay"

Putting his trust in Leo, Raph grasped his brother's wrist. With Don, Mikey and Leo pulling they managed to liberate Raph from the hole, his shell suffering only a few scratches as he managed to squeeze through.

Wasting no time to celebrate the four scrambled to escape the tunnel, slowing only briefly once they reached the junction to scoop up their skateboards (no need for those to be found by any sewer workers). They continued running toward home until they had put enough distance behind them to feel somewhat at ease.

Leo, who had been leading, stopped and leaned against the tunnel wall to catch his breath, his brothers doing likewise.

The immediate danger past, Leo felt the adrenaline in his system wash away leaving him weak and a little sick. Regarding his brothers he was suddenly filled with fear and anger.

"Damn it Raph, you can't just go off and do whatever you want, there are consequences, you or Mikey could have died or been captured!" Leo screamed realizing his hypocrisy even as he said the words.

"Don't you think I know that Leo." Raph yelled though his voice hitched heavy with guilt "I didn't mean for it to happen, I didn't mean for all this to go so far, I… I…I'm sorry, ok, I just… "

Seeing Raph's distress and knowing he was talking about more than just the cave in, Leo cut him off, putting his hands on Raph's shoulders, "I know, I know, I'm sorry I didn't mean to say that. I was just scared. It wasn't your fault. In fact this whole mess isn't really on you. Things have just gotten so out of hand lately."

"Yeah….I guess I know what you mean", Raph answered.

Again surveying his brothers, all their eyes wide and looking to him, Leo knew what he had to do.

"Come on, we're going home" he said, in a tone that years from then, his brothers would call Leo's _'I've made a command decision' _voice.

Turning to his side Leo could see that Donatello had trotted to catch up with him and was matching his gate step for step. Leo put his arm around Donnie's shoulder and squeezed gently. Donnie just beamed a smile at his big brother as they keep walking in comfortable silence.

...

Upon entering the lair the four went about putting their skateboards and gear away, secretly relieved Splinter was in his room and not in the great room to greet them. But before any of them could comment on their luck, the three younger brothers realized that Leo was no longer beside them. Turning Raph, Mikey and Donnie watched silently as Leo took the two small steps up to the shoji screen that was their father's door. Leo opened his mouth but before he could utter a word, they could hear their father's voice bid him enter.

"Come in, my son"

Pausing for just a moment, Leo slid the screen aside and stepped in. Looking up quickly to smile reassuringly back at his brothers, who only stared, he then slide the screen closed. After another deep breath Leo slowly turned to face his father, who he saw seated in his normalseiza posture. He was greeted in the customary manner.

"Kneel, my son"

Though he had tried to seem Fearless for his brothers, that façade quickly dissolved as he came to kneel before his Master, the immaturity of his thirteen years hitting him with full force.

As the two sat in silence for several moments the flickering light of the many candles that littered his father's room and the scent of sandalwood incense burning worked to calm Leo and give him some resolve. Seeing that his father would wait for him he bowed deeply, his forehead inches from the tatami mat and spoke, "Father, Master… I….I" his voice catching in his throat "I've shamed you and I've failed my brothers. I've lied and been dishonorable." Too ashamed to look up he continued almost rambling as he recounted the entire desperate tale. In his young life he had never been so disobedient or had to come to his father with such a admission, but now as it spilled out he vowed not to leave out any detail. He told of how he had really cut himself the first night, the lies he had told to deceive his brothers, the poor example he knew he'd set and finally how he knew his own dishonor had been the first domino in a ripple effect that had ultimately endangered his brothers lives. Finally breaking into sobs at the last of his confession, Leo choked, "I'm so so sorry Father, I'll accept any punishment, I understand… I mean, I understand if….if you can't love me anymore, if I'm not worthy to be…leader." Falling silent except for the quiet hitching of his breath as he tried to regain his composure, Leo waited.

"Look at me Leonardo" Splinter spoke softly.

With much effort Leo lifted his eyes to look at his father.

"First let me make you understand," he said purposefully in his native tongue but without anger "you are my student and more importantly my son. I love you as I love your brothers and always will. This is as true as time and nothing can or will ever change it. Do you understand?"

"Hai, Chichi" Leo whispered.

Returning to English Splinter went on, "No sensei can expect his student to reach maturity without stumbling on the path occasionally. In truth, it is often the rocks which we trip on that offer the most profound lessons. I learned this myself when I was about your age", a glint coming to Splinter's eyes as he remembered a particular misadventure from his own childhood in Japan. Continuing, Splinter asked, "I gather you have learned a valuable lesson from this experience, have you not?"

Having difficulty picturing his father ever stumbling either literally or figuratively or even stranger, ever being young, Leo's forehead creased in contemplation for a moment before shaking himself back to the present. "Oh yes, Sensei, I guess I always thought it was my fighting skill that would make me a good leader, would help me protect my family, but now I see that without honor, without my family's respect and trust nothing else really matters," he responded.

"You are correct my son, your honor and love for your family is indeed the currency that will sustain you and your brothers for years to come. By acknowledging your mistakes and learning from them you have shown that your honor is indeed vast and proven that you will one day be a great leader for this clan. While I cannot condone or overlook your actions, I could not be prouder of you than I am right now," Splinter gave a rare smile to his eldest.

Returning the smile, Leo took a deep breath and felt relief and love wash over him at his father's words. Whatever punishment he might be given didn't really matter anymore, knowing he still had his father's love and respect made him swell with joy.


	8. Epilogue

Leo sat calmly in the dojo and watched as Master Splinter corrected Raph on his form with the sai. Nodding respectfully, Raph repeated the movement and was rewarded with praise to which Raph tried to stifle a smile.

Then looking at Don and Mikey practicing he noted pleasantly how much his brothers had improved in the two weeks since Father had let the three of them begin practicing with real weapons. While he still ached for the katana, and was disappointed that his own deception had caused him to miss out on the last two weeks of weapons practice, he was also proud of his brothers and felt oddly satisfied at serving this penance. In some way he felt as if his honor would not be fully restored until he reaped some consequence for his misbehavior. Once restored though, Leo thought, he vowed his honor would stay in tack.

"Yame!"Splinter called, bringing all his students to attention.

"You have all been doing very well. I commend you, my students."

"Now, the bo staff, sai and nunchakus make great compliments for each other, but I think perhaps your team needs another bladed weapon to make the balance complete, do you agree?"

At hearing the statement, Raph, Donnie and Mikey answered their father with a happy and resounding "Hai, sensei!" The three of them and even Splinter himself smiling broadly as they turned to look at Leo.

"Come Leonardo," Splinter called.

With humility, Leonardo stood and walked to stand, his eyes low, before his sensei. First looking down at his son, Splinter then turned and gently lifted the twin katana from the wall and laid the weapons in Leo's hands.

"Always fight with honor my son," Splinter told him as he had done for all his sons.

Leo was almost awestruck as he looked first at his father and then at the gift.

"Arigatō sensei, I will make you proud and I will protect this family with honor.", Leo all but whispered his eyes never lifting.

Even though it wasn't the first time Leo had held the magnificent blades in his hands, in that moment, it was the first time he had felt the true weight of them and the weight of responsibility he would willingly carry in the years to come, for family and for honor.

Owari

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So there it is. My first story done. I hope it was o.k. Please let me know what you think. I'd love a review if you have the time. Also, taking any and suggestions/requests for a sophomore story. See ya soon!


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